Thought it would be fun to make a post full of creepy weird random material not yet represented by pictures in the blog or by fan works. I called my Tumblr 'tomaxamot' for two reasons: 1.) Because it's a shipping blog and I combined their names (think 'Brangelina' or like 'Baronestro' in the fandom) -and- 2.) It could be the name of their fused soul. This fandom is a kind of laziness, as I have three kids and no time to think of original ideas. I have, however, come up with so many original ideas unrelated to the fandom that I might have come up with OCs inspired by Tomax and Xamot. Maybe I could have called them Max and Monty. The cult world was too much fun to get into though.
I've been curious about something....I've been putting out stuff about these twins for almost a year, yet I've gotten no feedback. Not one person has had anything to say about my creative work. Is it because I got too far away from the fandom as a whole? Is my RAEP CULT head canon too horrible? Fandom is about sex and loneliness right? Well, I feel like that lonely twelve year old who wants to talk about my creepy fandom with somebody but know that nobody would understand me. This whole project is kind of a parody of what I might have been like as a kid getting into what fan girls on the internet get into. When I first created my Live Journal account, I used to be part of the Elfwood community and was exposed to fandom slash. I kind of know the style.
It was a lot of laughs to write Tomax and Xamot slash. -Seems to me most people into it are into these kind of pretty androgynous characters with impossible features, like these guys:
Cult twins are androgynous looking, yet they are more like what I'd call 'endearingly ugly', especially since the Renegades art style is god awful. It is nice that the art style is more real life, however, as the twins and other characters have irl proportionate features. I could imagine Cult Twins as real people, whereas I couldn't with the first example. Just that makes them extra creepy in a good way.
RAH Twins are also endearingly ugly. They have perfect bodies, yet their faces always have these intense and utterly ruthless expressions. When they smile, it's totally crazy, like smiling with their mouths yet promising violence with their eyes.
I would have been WAY more prudish as a twelve year old fan girl. The pervy stuff is me getting back into them as an adult. I recently looked back and remembered what they meant to me as a child. Anytime I ever wrote about them lying entwined was a nod to my childhood, when that's about as physically intimate as they'd get in my head canon. I think of that disturbing night time assault in "Impalement of Tomax" (adult fan fiction) and can imagine how I would have written it as a child: Xamot had woken hours before dawn, shivering and sweating from a forgotten nightmare. He had climbed into bed alongside Tomax, shaking him forcefully and whispering, "Come on, awaken for me, I NEED YOU!!" Tomax had murmured something intelligible, then rolled away. Xamot, not to be denied the comfort of his brother's embrace, had rolled him on his back and pressed his whole body hard against his side, wrapping a leg heavily against his knees as if fused....
When I'd write something like that, I'd guard it well and show no one. I might have expressed some bizarre ideas to a friend or two, then would learn my lesson quickly when they'd get uncomfortable. My head canons back then mostly involved Tomax getting into some kind of trouble, then Xamot would have to rescue him. Sometimes the problem would be too difficult, and he'd turn to the aid of the six psychic mentors, who were like Mary Sues and Marty Stus, each perfect but with endearing flaws: Two were laughably sensible, two were overly kind and two were obnoxious geniuses. I had this idea that the enemies of the six were always trying to kill the twins to hurt them, yet the twins could only be killed if the enemy had both. Tomax wasn't as slippery as his brother, so he was the one in trouble most of the time. Once, I imagined Xamot getting imprisoned; he ended up freeing himself and meeting Tomax halfway. LOL, I found a commercial that could have inspired my head canon, although I'm positive I never saw it until recently: (They mixed them up, btw)
Just for fun, I'll do a section full of examples of why I thought up the ideas I did. The Brothers of Light got far too little screen time, yet I still was able to come up with ideas based on the smallest details.
1.) Both the opening of the entry and the idea in Judgement From The Six that Xamot came out of torture the worst were inspired by a couple of scenes lasting only seconds. I based my opinion from two parts, one by their voices at the end of Brothers of Light when Tomax sounded scared but Xamot almost sounded hysterical. It's like the Xamot voice actor was more into sounding terrified. The second was from the brief glimpse of their expressions during White Out:
2.) Tunnelrat: "Okay, is anyone going to bring up how bizarro Tweedledee and Tweedledum seem?"
Roadblock: "They're eccentric, so what?"
Scarlett: "If that was a crime, they'd lock you away."
When I first heard that part, I got this mistaken idea that the twins were somehow victims of that sanctuary. That's how I came up with the hellish analogy. I don't really see them as demons, however, more like a couple of guys who might be half sincere working their con. People come to them for enlightenment, yet they might think, We might have extraordinary psychic abilities, yet we don't really have all the answers. We're still trying to figure everything out ourselves, but we are happy to take everything you have and let you stay with us and be a family until we do.
3.) In Union of the Snake, The Baroness asks Dr. Mindbender, "How long until the mind control is permanent?" That gave me the idea that the twins' mind control might naturally be permanent after a time. The disciples who had been with them the longest would eventually become devoted to them for life. I had this crazy idea that if Tomax and Xamot had passed away under Mindbender's captivity, there would still be people going around spreading the Brothers of Light faith. The psychic mentors would have to take them into custody for deprogramming.
4.) Scene with the falling rock:
This is my personal favorite. Who wouldn't look at this scene and think 'Lets write some creepy PORN!' I never laughed harder writing anything. Poor Xamot. He knows Tomax gets hot for anyone who rescues him from danger because he's been on the receiving end of this constantly. He has this mentality like, "I love my brother so much that I can't even keep my hands off him when he's sleeping. Of course I'll indulge his every whim, even though I'm not really into it." Now I have regrets. I should have made it an exact parallel of the scene. They get hurt because Roadblock doesn't know his own strength. Tomax takes it quietly, but Xamot gets a little dramalicious, just so the viewer gets the point of the pain sharing. I should have had just Xamot shrieking while Roadblock plowed on with an ecstatic expression all mesmerized disciple had. Why wouldn't that be awesome?
5.) Tunnelrat spying from the ceiling- Perfect porn opportunity, if you ask me. That's why I had to write a version where someone spies and accidentally catches them having some really awkward, incestuous sex in the computer room.
6.) Flight From Chateau Cisarovna- At the end of Union of the Snake, the twins look fine and already discuss their next act of nefarious villainy. I'm sure time with Mindbender might have left them at least a little traumatized and very disoriented.
7.) End of Mindbender's Resentment- I head canoned that Mindbender had the twins facing in opposite directions in White Out to be a dick. Then when they were subdued into a trance in Union of the Snake, he kind of let them face each other. Though inappropriate for a cartoon, if their powers work better the closer they get, then they should have been positioned with arms over each others shoulders and heads together.
8.) "The lambs dare not stray..."- That part gave me the idea Tomax started becoming more assertive out of fear of Xamot's deteriorating mental state. He does so arrogantly.
Collection of ideas from fan fictions that I now think are incredibly stupid or need to be altered slightly to make better sense. Some of my bad ideas make me facepalm with shame; others make me wonder if readers/viewers might have misinterpreted the points I was trying to make about them.
1.) The Scar- I wrote some silly back story about how Tomax was injured during their smuggling days. Realistically, if I wanted to write about RAH and Renegades twins being the same people, then I should have written that Xamot used to be the scarred one, but after ten years in COBRA and twenty more in the sanctuary, his scar faded so much one could hardly see it. Then Tomax was scarred recently in a 'disciple who got away' attack. There's no way a thirty year old injury would look so raw. In fact, one day when I have free time, I'll go back and change this detail. It should please any future readers who are into that self-sacrificing romantic view of Xamot.
2.) Body Building Culture- If both versions of the twins are supposedly the same in my fan fictions, then I should have come up with a damn good reason why Tomax and Xamot went from this...
I did come up with the idea that their psychic abilities were draining their strength. Maybe they had too much other stuff going on they didn't have time to lift? It might have been interesting to also suggest they might have used mind-control to make people think they were all huge back in the day, but really they were more slender irl, the gymnasts they were. It reminds me of an idea I had months ago I forgot to express. I had originally wanted their disciples to see them as glorified angelic beings under mind-control. People not mesmerized would see them as they were, and people on their way to becoming mind-controlled would see their features and bodies constantly shifting in an eerie way.
3.) Angels and Demons- I should have made it more clear in writing that the Brothers of Light aren't really demons, any more than they are really living angels. It's an easy analogy to make, as their habit of bending wills and draining bank accounts can be compared to how incubi have sex with sleeping women and drain their life forces. Such unions aren't likely to produce forty six children, however.. that and how I don't like the idea of Tomax and Xamot being pure evil. I more have the idea they do bad things while wrapped up in the ecstasy of each other.
4.) Mindbender's Resentment- I had written: If ever they outlived their usefulness, however, the doctor planned on seeing what would happen if he smothered one, then tried to resuscitate them through the other. There was no guarantee they'd both die, as again, tissue damage didn't get passed through their connection. It was possible the death of one would allow the other to breathe again, something interesting to wonder about. Mindbender was a doctor, so of course he'd know that if both twins weren't breathing and getting oxygen to their brains, then it's certain they'd both die, errr...DUH!! It doesn't matter if one was physically being smothered or forced into it via the psychic connection. Come to think of it, that's probably the only way a person could kill both of them through one of them.
5.) Don't hide from me....never hide..- Chapter three from Judgement From The Six. It was so silly I cringed several times rereading it. Tomax and Xamot spend most of their lives clinging to each other, in and out of each others thoughts. Suddenly, one is able to shut himself off from the other while the other awkwardly says, "Lets pretend we are individuals for a second..and you are the individual with the problem." Then they acted like there were things they didn't know about each other. I left it as it was because I didn't know how to fix it at the time. I finally get how to do it now and might go back and fix it.
Projection of Insecurities:
When a person loves these characters like I do, it's tempting to put a little of oneself into them, making them his/hers. The Brothers of Light focused their energy into the eye in their temple. I focused my creative energy into them. Here are a few examples of where I did this in my creative works:
1.) Garden Scene- Lady Jaye sees two lovely robed figures in the shadows, then gets the creeps when she sees the Brothers of Light up close. This represents how a person can like the idea of someone sitting in quiet perfection, yet find out said person is repulsive upon finding out the truth of what he/she is actually like.
2.) Tomax: LOCK HIM IN ISOLATION!!- Lady Jaye's Sister, Chapter Two when Brother Jacob tries to kill the Brothers of Light. This is one of those 'he beats his wife because he saw his father beating his mother growing up' analogies. The twins would see judgemental glares and isolation as being suitable punishments because it's what they would know, being the weirdos they were. It's telling that up close in that instance, the twins also appear to be hurt and nervous, and of course they would be. Even in a place where they are worshiped as gods, they still have to worry about people attacking them. They probably have had to be on guard their whole lives because of their psychic talents, which leads to....
3.) Freaks in Fear- In fan fiction, Tomax and Xamot escaped Mindbender, then were immediately fearful the authorities would be after them to torment them more. It's likely that nobody gave a crap about them or even knew they were there. If I really wanted to make it personal, I could have had other characters treat them like they were being ridiculous for having this fear, while they countered with, "..but...but IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED WITH MINDBENDER!! -Even more personal would have the twins presenting evidence of it happening before, then when others still failed to take them seriously, they might believe that it was all in their heads, and that they might have imagined the pain and taken Mindbender's intentions out of context.
**Side Note** This sounds an awful lot like a rape analogy, but here's the difference. Most people can imagine how horrible rape would be because most anybody could potentially be overpowered and have something forced into an orifice. With the twins, they might get hurt feelings and say, "If we were any other psychically connected twins, then you might be more sympathetic to our plight, but since it's us..." Then it would hit them...their telepathic bond gives them a slew of problems unique unto them. The world is full of people who cannot comprehend their situation, therefore they cannot commiserate.
4.) Psychic Mentors- When I came up with these as a child and let the twins into my world, they were supposed to represent myself, two of my friends and our fictional significant others. One of my friends might have found it creepy to know that I made her significant other a guy version of myself. I was so attached in a non-sexual way that I liked the idea of a relationship. Those two are the only pair I didn't switch the genders on in the recent fan fics.
5.) Family- The Brothers of Light look so much like a pair of namby pamby priests, totally not the type of studs who would father forty six children. I felt people thought of me that way. After I had my first child, some lady I hardly even knew was in utter shock when my mom told her about it. She couldn't believe I'd ever have children. It's like I'm Sister Mary Holy Water, fainting at the sight of a dong or something.
6.) Dr. Mindbender- Got screwed over worse than the twins in the Renegades reboot. He's ordinary and looks childish and ridiculous in the over sized fireman boots. That's totally the kind of villain I'd end up as in the cartoon world. I could be everything he is, except I don't have the potential to be THAT big of a scumbag, one might hope..
Ideas That Didn't Make The Cut
Not everything I came up with turned out to be magical. Here are some ranging from mildly retarded to horrific.
1.) Hypnosis by Psychic Mentors- I wanted to be ironic and have one of the mentors hypnotize the twins. Then I thought, "No, because if they could, they would have already and said, "STOP FUCKING UP!!" If anything, the twins have them under a little bit of mind-control, and that's why they haven't been executed for their various atrocities.
2.) Comatose Xamot- Read on wiki that Xamot was injured into a coma in comic book G.I. Joe Special Missions: Antarctica. Thought it might be fun if I wrote a fic inspired by this where Xamot is able to look through Tomax's eyes and live through him while comatose. Then I realized, no...no that wouldn't be fun AT ALL. It would sound depressing as hell. I might as well end it with Tomax thinking, ..try and stay awake, brother; we are getting awfully sleepy.. Then Xamot would pass away, and Tomax would be found wide-eyed staring and unresponsive. Someone would diagnose him as stroking out.
3.) Amazeballs- This is what I almost called fan fiction called 'Amazements'. Then I told myself...try to be the tiniest bit mature. I'm not asking much..
4.) Mad Scientist- I thought it would be great to do a drawing of that scene where Mindbender has the twins strapped down on his table, except make it the RAH versions. When I went to actually draw it, I just couldn't.
5.) Rape Slash- In the spirit of some of the man-rape slash I read during the Elfwood days, I wanted to do a version where RAH twins get into a knock-down drag out fight, ending with Xamot forcing Tomax down. Tomax would say, "Remember..what you do to me, you do to yourself.." Xamot would smack him in the back of his head and retort, "Yeah, but it's me doing!" This would be me expressing the opinion that Xamot could give it to himself, but Tomax couldn't. It was creepy even for me, especially since Tomax would feel Xamot's passion and give in joyfully, as Xamot -good or bad- is the one their lives depend on. I didn't do it mostly because I couldn't imagine what they'd fight over, therefore deemed it an impossible situation.
6.) Commitment- Almost became an adult story where Tomax would charm a nurse and Xamot would do sexual favors to a guard. It was all creepy with no funny. I scrapped the idea but still wrote the story, which became one of my more serious works.
7.) Twin Pillar Gospel- Almost set after the temples fell, with disciples talking about the weirdness of the Brothers of Light in past tense. When I came up with the punchline at the end, I had been at work at the time. I choked with laughter so hard that some lady asked what I was laughing about. I replied, "Oh gawd...you don't want to know."
Good Ideas I Didn't Get To:
I liked where these ideas were going. I might still do a couple. It was a case of thinking about them, then maybe being distracted by another idea I was more passionate about. Sometimes I would come up with something good overall, then get stuck on a detail or two. That's why I jot down outlines for many of my fan works.
1.) Stormshadow- I like this character, think he's tragic. Thought it would be interesting to write a short story guessing at what it would be like to have a little of oneself put into six other beings. Would he have been able to see through the eyes of the shadow vipers? -Feel what they felt? How much of himself would be in them? How would he have felt when they were destroyed and he became one again? In keeping with the theme, I would have Stormshadow sneaking into Mindbender's lab and visiting the twins at the end. He would ponder the mysteries of the universe and ask himself what he was doing. It would be a complicated concept requiring more deep thought.
2.) Sanctuary- Spooky story about Tomax and Xamot first arriving in their world apart with heads shaved, unable to speak. Their lives would be devoted to learning how to tap into their as yet unknown psychic talents. Visitors like Brother Franz would start to arrive and find two strange beings who weren't quite charismatic yet, which leads to....
3.) Creepy Twins Don't Know They Are Creepy- I actually had this one half-written, but then the weather got good and I lost my motivation to produce regular material for this fandom. Tomax and Xamot are puzzled by the reactions of people like Tunnelrat and wonder what's the deal with them. -Humorous.
4.) Petra and Donte- Creepiest idea yet. The Brothers of Light leave their sanctuary to go with these two mentors who promise to heal Xamot's mental trauma and get them into fighting shape again. On the flight to their abode, Petra and Donte hold them like big six foot tall children, patting their backs. The twins look at each other awkwardly but don't say anything because they are afraid of them, especially Donte, who is like the Mountain from Game of Thrones.
5.) Xamot Healed- Xamot gets irritated at Tomax's pridefulness and feels the need to put him in his place. Tomax takes this without a struggle, realizing that he had been goading Xamot for years, hoping to see his old spirit. They had been taking on each others personality traits in a not-helpful way. -Came up with this feeble plot because I saw that Adult Fan Fiction site had a tag called 'porn without plot'. That tag totally needs to be used on a Brothers of Light story that's all non-stop sex with Xamot getting Tomax back for every act of aggression perpetrated against him.
6.) Sleeping Drawing- Wanted to do a visual of this part of fic: Exhaustion hit, sinking them like stones. Tomax slowly fell over sideways, pulling Xamot to his chest. Before they could even try not to, they soon fell into a fitful, nightmare plagued sleep. This is just because I can't get enough shipping drawings of the twins squeezed together embracing.
Whoa, this is over four thousand words long. I wasn't playing around. :-D It's hilarious most of my public posts are fandom related, so I can link to blog. I've been very prolific on LJ lately, but everything is f-locked.